how awkward can it get ?
undeniably i've been through a very rough and harsh weekend
maybe i've let the ones that cared for me down or what so ever IDN
no doubts that i was really furious and facing grieves last weekend
i set a boundary for myself that i'll never trust anyone in my life anymore
but i told myself to get over it and carry on with life
i can see that everything's going smooth and fine these few days
i've tried my level best to get everything back in place
but it seems that luck wasnt at my side
i admit that i've hurt one of my love one brutally for the words i've said or the actions i've did
so then, i told myself never mind of all these as long as you still wanna be like last time
this is cool with me, as i can see that everything is getting better
all the grudges, hostilities and misunderstandings are finally revealed and amended
i made the first step to confess every single thing
but if peeps aren't working with me, i couldnt say a word then
maybe what i can do is just shut up and suck it in
blaming myself for what i've done and what i've not
sincerely, i hope that that gap between us will eventually vanish and POOOFFF it's gone
i can see that it's evaporating bit by bit


well, you wouldn't know what will happen when the cats are out of the box
it's just like sword by sword being stabbed right onto your heart
you couldnt care less as one thing connects to another and the other one relates to the other one
at the very beginning, i might be the con one
i find everything really deceiving, merely illusions
but later on i find it totally ridiculous
i just can't blame anyone for what's happening on me
again i would like to say that seriously i tried my best to get things back in place
i just don't want all these to get any worse
i'm totally sick and tired of all these


adding on,
i don't find any detriments nor mischiefs to be friends with someone to our liking
you just shouldn't care much who others are with or are intimate with
i told one close friend of mine that i couldn't believe anyone in my life anymore
but deep inside, i truly and totally believe in him/her
i doubt that it did hurt his/her feelings or maybe not IDN also
i just hope that we'll get back to last time
where there will be no gaps nor boundaries in between
sometimes people just need someone they really trust to confess their inner thoughts
they just need someone to share them but they don't intend to hurt anyone
well, i'm cool with it if the outcome is negative


life like this is totally torturing and devastating
at one moment i might seem to be laughing my lungs out but the next burried in tears
after these days, i've came across the true meaning of FRIENDS
they are the ones that will be by ur side when you needed them most
they are the ones that will console and comfort you when you're down and having hard times
they are the ones who will wipe off your tears when you have them
they are the ones that will share their deepest thoughts with you when they thought of doing so
they are the ones that will try to make you smile again when you're not in the mood
they are the ones that you want to be with all the times even enmities are present but yet you're trying your best to fix them


therefore, apologies are given without hoping any in return.