Sunday, March 13, 2011
-It all happened too quickly, she didn't have the time to cope with it,
Now tell her it's not real, tell her everything is just a dream.-
Remember weeks ago, when all the things were so nice they were so perfectly aligned? Just weeks ago, he was still so close with her. They'd contact each other 24/7 and never miss a day not talking to each other. This proceeded for months from the day they met and stopped for a while, months later they continued being even in love with each other. They were so loving and so attached to each other like nothing can ever separate them. The girl was even naive enough to believe that he is the right one. She was so happy and felt really blissful as finally after years there's someone who actually appreciates her and treats her like a princess, like his most precious one.
To her he is the near-to-perfect guy, the guy that she'd been searching up and down for quite some time. He is a very caring, loving, sensitive, down-to-earth, tolerant, sweet, nice, gentleman guy and someone that takes care of her from time to time. He protected her and kept her close to him when they're out, not giving anyone the chance to even touch her. But, what happened to that intimate moment? What happened to all those love and affections? What happened to them? Well, that's a question that'll never be answered.
She used to be that individual who didn't quite believe in love anymore because she'd been through a lot, seen a lot of heartbroken moments and she even wondered if she'd ever love again. She doesn't believe that there'll be any guy who will really love a girl till death do them apart. To her, all these are merely stories written by authors and scriptwriters to trick their audiences that there's this thing call forever love. LOVE, to her, is simply a word with 4 alphabets that men use to get women in bed, a word that boys use to satisfy their lusts and a word that people misuse in order to fulfill their satisfactions and desires.
But, you couldn't stop it when your time and fate is here. About a year ago, she met him during his trip to her motherland and there the spark was triggered. Since then, they started to talk to each other every night and sometimes till morning, they got closer and closer and eventually some feelings started to come in. From there, their love story began but she was reluctant for the both of them to become an item because she didn't know him well enough. She wants to make sure that he is the one who'll not hurt her again, who will not dump her, who will love her for who she is and who will take great care of her. He, is the one who made her believe in love once again. He, is the one who is there for her whenever she needs him. He, is the one that she couldn't afford to lose.
Just few weeks ago, she was away for a trip. Without knowing that she'd come back to face this ugly truth, if they could go through this nothing is gonna tear them apart. BUT, he actually turned his back against her without even saying goodbye. He decided not to contact her anymore, not to reply her messages and not to talk to her ever again. Maybe he is not aware that it actually struck her really hard, it was a really big blow to her. And yes it was devastating to her, she figured days and nights what was the problem but still she couldn't come up with a proper answer.
During the trip, she just couldn't help but wonder what is the boy up to lately till he has no time for her? Is he really that busy? Did he forget her already? Or did he move on with another girl? What did she do that made him go away? These questions kept running through her mind everyday and every night. She tried to run away from all these but she failed, over and over again. Even when she's overseas, she tried her best to look for internet connections available in order to stay in contact with the boy.
This foolish little girl finally return from her trip happily because finally she can contact the guy and go back to her normal life but not knowing he'd actually decided to stay away from her. Just few hours ago in the airplane when she was missing him like crazy, she reread the messages that they used to send. She was reminiscing their good old days where they could tell each other everything that happened in their daily life, well at least she told him hers. She was overjoyed and can't wait to tell him everything that happened during the trip. But what happened at last? Before she even have the chance to say hi, they totally lost contact with each other. Its like the boy disappeared in the air and is no where to be found.
Of course, like every vulnerable girl would do, she shed her tears for him in the middle of the night, on the very night she touch down. As she reckon, this isn't the first time that she'd been through such situation. She was hurt before but she stood up and continued to believe in him, believing that he'll bring more joy and happiness to her life because he was the one who brought sparks to her life again. It sucks having to go through her everyday life all by herself again, it sucks not having someone that she could confess her feelings to, it sucks to lose someone that was so dear to her.
Even though her heart broke, she couldn't put the blame on the boy. Maybe it's because she did something wrong that pissed the boy off? Maybe he got bored of her? Maybe she did something that the boy couldn't forgive her for? That she doesn't know. All she ever wanted was just a simple and valid explanation from the boy, but even that, he isn't able to give her. She doesn't mind if he just type a few words in reply to her. Well, at least it's some simple manner. She wonders, is all this too much to ask for? Never forget, she was the one who went through your hard times with you, she was the one who supported you from time to time even when you failed to achieve what you wanted and she was the one who supported you in everything that you do. Are you really that mean to leave her all by herself, in the dark, all alone?
She struggled, she yelled, she screamed, she kicked, she boxed, she jumped, she's hurt, she's heartbroken but there's nothing that she can do to get him back into her life. She admits that she actually hated him at the very beginning but as days go by, she doesn't have the energy to be angry at him anymore. She paused and think again, there aren't anything that she can complain or rant anymore. There are just too many obstacles and obstructions blocking them to be together. They're both at the end of the world, each at a side. They can only meet each other for once or twice a year. Each meeting is a short one, for a bout two to three days? nothing much to say about right? So it's actually quite normal for one side to part away from the other when you have all these problems. She understands that it takes a lot for two persons to be together; time especially. You might be with the right one but when it isn't at the right time, nothing is going to work.
Being her stubborn and stupid self again, she still protect his image from others. She didn't want to deteriorate or ruin his image in front of anybody else. No point talking bad about someone when that person left you for good. Without any doubts, she actually believed that he will eventually return one day in the future. Well, she doesn't really know what else she can do for time being. All she can do is to sit there and wait till the day he turn back and realize that she's always there for him whenever he needs her. She just want him to know how much she misses those days and how much she misses them.
This is a story of a girl who is super silly in believing in a love that she'll never be able to hold on to anymore. She has to realize that this is irreversible and time doesn't wait for her. She has to get over it and life still goes on. It doesn't mean that he's the only guy that's left in the world, there's still plenty of guys out there for her. All she had to do is to explore the outside world and never look back but all these take time. It takes time to heal.
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